The MacDougall Family Disney Vacation 2009

Just got this e-mail from Disney.com...

SUBJECT: The MacDougall Family Disney Vacation 2009

I'm only going to Disney World if they create a ride based on me life. It would be called "The Plunderer!" The cost would be $10 per person -- cash only. After waiting for an hour in line, you'd walk through a door that locks behind you. Then you realize you're back in the park and your wallet is $10 lighter. You've been plundered! I'm just not sure how to get repeat business.

Happy sailing,

Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall

Cap'n Billy's Magic Pieces-of-Eight Ball

Do you remember the toy called the Magic 8-Ball? You'd ask a question, shake the ball and an answer would appear.

Now there's Cap'n Billy's Magic Pieces-of-Eight Ball, the perfect oracle for all your pirate questions. Whether you need to know, "Should I plunder that merchant vessel?" "Should I drink more rum?" or "Should I let my three-year-old play with gun powder?" all your answers are just a click away!

Try it now: http://www.pirateparenting.com/Magic8Ball.html

Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall
www.PirateParenting.com

Cap'n Billy stars in High School Musical 3

In an effort to get more publicity for his book, GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING, Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall (that be me) has agreed to star in the upcoming High School Musical 3.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Happy plundering and don't let the bilge rats bite,

Cap'n Billy
http://www.pirateparenting.com/

Pirate Parenting interview with pirate captain Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall

In a rare interview with both Tim Bete and me, we share why we wrote GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING ("Cap’n Billy put his dagger next to my neck and told me I was going to write a book for him") as well as how we placate our muse when she refuses to inspire us ("We ply her with rum"). Read the interview.

Cap'n Billy
www.pirateparenting.com

How to feng shui your pirate ship

Ahoy, feng-shui-loving land-lubbers! Cap’n Billy the Butcher here with some great feng-shui tips to help you achieve perfect harmony so you can reach your goal to be the world’s most perfect plunderer! Ye can read all about it here.

Happy sailing and don't let the bilge rats bite,

Cap'n Billy the Butcher

Pirate Parenting on Miss Cellania

Ahoy matey!

There be a column about GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING on the Miss Cellania Blog today. Sail over and plunder the site.

Happy pillaging,

Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall
Author, GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING

Me virtual book tour

Ahoy matey!

I'm going on a virtual book tour, which is kind of like sailing without ever leaving the dock. The good news is there'll be no rationing of rum, so hide yer valuables.

You can find information about the tour here.

Starting on July 7, you'll find each day's tour stops here.

Feel free to drop anchor at any of the ports to learn more about GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING and me co-author, Tim Bete.

Happy sailing and don't let the bilge rats bite,

Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall
www.PirateParenting.com

Pirate wine

Question:
Dear Captain,

I usually drink rum but would like to start drinking wine with meals. What wine goes best with salt cod and hardtack? And no jokes about a pirate's favorite wine being, "Me gun powder's wet and I can't fire me cannons!"

Hugs,

Mrs. Jane Smith

Answer:
Ahoy Mrs. Smith!

I don't know much about wine, so I contacted me good friend Gary Vaynerchuk, host of Wine Library TV. Gary suggests the Denner Theresa 2006 or the Magellan Grenache Roussanne Vieilles Vignes 2006.

The description of the Magellan (which be a fine name for a ship, too) also describes me: Rich, decadent and distinctive, with a finish of smoke, usually from me cannons.

Happy sailing and don't let the bilge rats bite,

Cap'n Billy the Butcher

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Question:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Robert, who has a woodchuck in his yard

Answer:
Ahoy Robert!

Pirates hate woodchucks -- at least pirates with wooden legs, like me, hate woodchucks. They always be sniffing around our legs with a hungry gleam in thar eyes.

To answer yer question, the last woodchuck that came near me wooden leg didn't chuck any wood because I stabbed 'em with me dagger. Then I served 'em to the crew. Yum.

Happy sailing and don't let the bilge rate (or woodchucks) bite,

Cap'n Billy the Butcher

My pirate sleeps too much

Question:
My daughter won't get up in the morning. No matter how I try to wake her, she always falls back alseep and is late for school. What can I do?

Signed,

Fuming in Florida

Answer:
Dear Mr. Fuming,

I used to have the same problem with a crewmate of mine. He was always late for his watch. So we made him sleep in one of the cannons. If he didn't get up on time, we'd just "fire him up," so to speak. The unfortunate part was that we used too much gun powder one day and shot him clear across the horizon, never to be seen again. So use a cannon but keep an eye on the amount of powder you use.

Happy sailing and don't let the bilge rats bite,

Cap'n Billy the Butcher