Selling pirate treasure on e-Bay

Question:
Dear Captain,

Me little powder monkeys keep selling me booty on e-Bay. How can I prevent them from hawking me treasure?

Signed,

Losing my dough in Scranton

Answer:
Dear Mr. Dough,

You could try taking away your kids' computer privlidges. Or you could bury yer treasure, so they can't find it. Or you could threaten to put the home video of them picking their noses on YouTube. Personally, I'd do all three.

Happy sailing and don't let the bilge rats bite,

Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall
Author, Guide to Pirate Parenting
www.pirateparenting.com