Dating a pirate?
Question
Help my daughter is dating a pirate!
Sincerely,
A confused parent
Answer
Ahoy there, Confused!
I can understand why ye bit a bit befuddled over yer daughter dating a pirate. After all, ye want to make a good impression so she doesn't lose her dream man.
I suggest you take an interest in your future son-in-law's work and hobbies. Ask him questions, such as "How was the plundering today" and "Did you see the new cannons down at the Navy Surplus Store?"
When he comes to take yer daughter on a date, sit down together over a ration of rum and listen to his stories of past voyages.
But, whatever you do, don't ever mention The Black Death. The Black Death was a plague that caused hysteria and death in the 1300s. The disease was carried by oriental rat fleas. Because most pirate ships have rats, pirates have a morbid fear of the Black Death to this day. While it may seem funny at the time, do not call your meatloaf “Black Death.” And never tease your future son-in-law by asking, “Is that an oriental rat flea on your head?”
Finally, feel free to invite me to the wedding. I love an open bar.
Happy sailing, and don't let the bilge rats bite,
Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall
Ahoy there, Confused!
I can understand why ye bit a bit befuddled over yer daughter dating a pirate. After all, ye want to make a good impression so she doesn't lose her dream man.
I suggest you take an interest in your future son-in-law's work and hobbies. Ask him questions, such as "How was the plundering today" and "Did you see the new cannons down at the Navy Surplus Store?"
When he comes to take yer daughter on a date, sit down together over a ration of rum and listen to his stories of past voyages.
But, whatever you do, don't ever mention The Black Death. The Black Death was a plague that caused hysteria and death in the 1300s. The disease was carried by oriental rat fleas. Because most pirate ships have rats, pirates have a morbid fear of the Black Death to this day. While it may seem funny at the time, do not call your meatloaf “Black Death.” And never tease your future son-in-law by asking, “Is that an oriental rat flea on your head?”
Finally, feel free to invite me to the wedding. I love an open bar.
Happy sailing, and don't let the bilge rats bite,
Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall
Author, Guide to Pirate Parenting
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