How big should a pirate's allowance be?

Question:
How large of a weekly allowance should I give to my pirate?

Signed,

Soccer Mom from Scranton

Answer:
Dear Ms. Scranton,

What would be the purpose of giving your pirate a weekly allowance?! It would only decrease your pirate's motivation to plunder and pillage the neighborhood kids who have money and valuables, such as bubble gum and rare baseball cards.

Instead of a weekly allowance, give your pirate a new sword (and possibly a small cannon) and send him out into the world to plunder the allowances of others. There's no limit to the amount of booty he can make. (You might also want to take a 20 percent cut of everything he brings home.)

Happy sailing and don't let the bilge rats bite,

Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall
Author, Guide to Pirate Parenting
http://www.pirateparenting.com/